Ending and abusive relationship
can be a difficult struggle for someone who feels powerless and
frightened, but you can make a difference. Your support and concern
can give a victim the strength to end a relationship of violence and
fear.
To show you are supportive:
- Listen: People who are being abused need to know that they can speak of their experience without fear of being judged, rejected, or betrayed
- Believe: Relationship abuse occurs within every social stratus, among every race, and to both women and men. It is a very serious problem world-wide.
- Assure the survivor that they are not to blame: No one deserves to be beaten or subjected to abuse. They did not cause the violence. Only the perpetrator is to blame.
- Support without dominating: Encourage them to see that they still have choices and support them in the choices they make. Empower survivors to know that they have options.
- Be there: Supporting a survivor of relationships abuse can be demanding, but they need to know that you will be there for them. There are many things that keep someone trapped in an abusive relationship. It is complex and rarely an easy decision. Try to educate yourself about these obstacles and be understanding when talking with someone who is an abusive relationship.
Questions to ask about relationship abuse:
- You seem frightened by your partner. Is he/she hurting you?
- Relationships abuse is very common, do you know someone who is being hurt by their partner?
- Did someone cause these injuries?
- Do you have equal power in your relationship?
What to say to someone who is being abused:
- Violence is never ok
- I am afraid for your safety
- You need to know that things will only get worse if you stay and do nothing
- I am here for you when you want help
- You do not deserve to be abused
- You did not cause the abuse (either emotional or physical)Resources for support and counseling:Kagisano Society Women’s Shelter Project in Gaborone 3907659 or in Molepolole 5921404
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